Aug 22, 2012 By Charlotte Evans, Black Doctor.Org Staff Writer
The key to successful relationships? Communication, communication, communication.

1.  Passive Communication

The passive communicator has difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings. They tend to hold concerns in and hope things will get better.

2.  Aggressive Communication
The aggressive communicator is able to express their thoughts and feelings; however they do so by offending people and not being respectful of others’ rights.

3.  Passive-Aggressive Communication

Most people tend to be passive-aggressive. They have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings clearly. They get their point across through sarcasm or through behavior, rather than speaking directly about their concerns and needs.

Assertive Communication = The Ideal Way To Communicate

The assertive communicator is able to express thoughts and feelings clearly and directly, yet they are mindful of not being disrespectful.

The keys to using assertive communication include:

  • Speaking from your own experience and using “I” statements
  • Telling the other person that you hear them by acknowledging their feelings
  • Stating what you want respectfully
  • Knowing some alternatives or compromises to what you want

It’s also important to stay away from absolute words and statements that tend to create defensiveness in others. These include: always, never, everyone, no one, I told you so, you should have, could have, would have, etc. Also refrain from giving advice and starting a sentence with “You.”